Talk to me about desire: A qualitative investigation of women's experiences

Abstract

Sexual desire is a complex psychological construct, and there is variability in the extant desire literature around how to define it. However, desire has been generally defined as an urge to engage in sexual activity, either alone or with a partner. Our scientific understanding of desire, like most things, arose from a model of male sexuality; however, there are important, gendered experiences of desire that have been overlooked, pathologized, or reduced to a numerical rating of frequency or intensity. The goal of this study was to explore how women in long-term relationships experience desire. Participants were 14 women who participated in semi-structured interviews about their desire for sex and masturbation. Data were analyzed using thematic analysis. Women’s experiences of desire fell into two categories: definitions of desire and manifestations of desire. Within the category of definitions of desire, four themes emerged: urge/wanting, physical sensations, embodiment/presence/mindfulness, and different headspace/alternate reality. In the category of manifestations, two themes emerged. The first, responsive desire, included descriptions of desire manifesting in response to external cues and had two subthemes: response to partner cues and response to environmental cues. The second theme in this category was spontaneous desire, where desire was described as manifesting without an obvious external cue. While desire was described as both spontaneous and responsive, responsive descriptions were more prevalent. Women’s desire is more nuanced than measures of frequency and intensity of sexual thoughts can capture, and an understanding of responsive desire is integral to understanding desire in women.